Downtime 3: Mama, mama, talk to your daughter...

[Will Stanton]

"...you don't want to do it anymore, do you."

[Sara Stanton]

"It's just... you kept calling me ma'am outside of it and... you already think I'm better than you for some reason. I... I don't want to keep reinforcing that..."

[Will Stanton]

"I promise I'll stop calling you ma'am, I'm sorry...it's just..."

Will took a breath.

"It's no it's just. You're right. I'll stop."

[Sara Stanton]

"Please PLEASE don't get this the wrong way Will... I just... Sometimes I feel like I've never heard you say no to anything. You don't always have to do anything to please me..."

[Will Stanton]

"But...

it makes me happy, Sara..."

[Sara Stanton]

"But that's not all you are... Someone who just follows me around and asks 'how high?' when I say jump. Sometimes I feel like I do have you on a leash even without an actual one..."

[Will Stanton]

"It's not that I don't have my own will or anything, Sara, it's..."

He takes a deep breath.

"D'you remember how happy you were when I took you on the Eye, just the two of us alone? Do you remember how happy you were when I was stuck as a girl and stopped by with pizza and ice cream and a movie and we snuggled together? Do you remember how happy you were when I gave you that massage, slowly but surely?

Well, all of those times, no matter how happy you were, I was happier. I looked into your eyes and saw you looking at me with pleasure and ecstasy T, and I knew I had done something right. I had pleased you, I had done what you wanted me to. It's a feeling like no other in the world. I...

When Bear won that bet, and was making me do things--helping her test her balls, standing on the table announcing her presence, making me get her breakfast--and she was smiling and laughing and happy, all I could think of was you, smiling and laughing and happy. It gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside..."

[Sara Stanton]

"I know, I know, I know. And I want you to be happy. But it's so... so... Oh I don't know how to explain it! I feel so selfish and as if there's nothing I can really do to make you happy. I just sit there and let you pamper me and it feels like I'm taking advantage of it sometimes and I... I just... I feel like there's something, anything, that'd make you that happy and I'm failing at finding it.

I've tried to show you that I'm not better than you, because I'm not. You... you deserve to be happy without having to serve someone!" She's in tears towards the end.

[Will Stanton]

"You make it sound like I'm so week.

Sara, what was your favorite part of Christmas morning?" he asked, apparently changing the subject.

[Sara Stanton]

"What?" She blinks some of her tears away before realizing what Will's getting at. "W-watching Mom and Dad open the presents I got them..." She pauses for a moment. "Will it... it's not that I don't understand what you mean. But... it can't be Christmas every day, Will. It made you sound so weak because that's what I'm afraid of..."

[Will Stanton]

"Do you know how strong I have to be," he said quietly, "to put that much trust in you?

I'm not a doormat. I don't want to be a pet, or a slave. I don't want to be humiliated. I want to be VALUED. I'm playful, I'm proud. I want a nourishing relationship, not an abusive one. If anything, what I want you to do is keep me from giving up too much too quickly.

There are two kinds of strengths, Sara. One's the strength to lead, to control; the power to...strip another one down to their very soul. The other is the strength to follow, to yield--to stand bared down without losing oneself. I'm not...not a weakling. That's not what this is. I promise, it's not. I'm not subservient...it's different."

[Sara Stanton]

"B-but, what is there left to give? How can I try to hold you back when you've already given yourself to me. I... I don't understand it, Will. How is following someone strength?"

[Will Stanton]

"...I really don't know how to explain it...

If you don't understand, you just don't understand," he smiled, sadly. "It's OK."

[Sara Stanton]

She sighs sadly. "S-sorry... I just... it makes no sense to me..."

[Will Stanton]

"I really don't know how to describe it...

But it's OK. I know...I know it's hard. Don't worry about it, really."

[Sara Stanton]

"I'll try..." She hugs Will and holds on to him tight.

[Will Stanton]

"It's OK, really, it is," he says, smiling up at her. "I understand. No need for you to knock yourself out."