Constantine's Room-Sept 28th, Midmorning

[Rachel O'Brien]

After breakfast, Rachel slipped into Con's room "How're you doing, Con?"

[Constantine McGraw]

"Hey Red." Con replied, giving Rachel a half smile, half grimace. "About as good as I look I guess. I'm glad you see you up though, they told me you weren't so hot yourself yesterday and had carted yourself off to bed."

He gave what was almost a grin.

"Maybe just as well, if I'd stopped in to see you I'd probably have passed out on your floor instead of mine."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"And I'd have been too exhausted to notice." Rachel said, smiling a little "I feel better today, though. Are you going to drag yourself to the debriefing, or lay in bed like a sensible person?"

[Constantine McGraw]

"Sensible sounds good right now, but I'll be there as soon as they let me out of here. If I'm leaving the teams I figure the least I can do is make the debrief."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Why are you leaving the teams?" Rachel asked. Even after the hints Victoria had dropped, she hadn't expected this.

[Constantine McGraw]

"Short answer, it's not healthy for me and it's not healthy for the people around me. And no, I'm not talking about my leg."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"And the long answer?"

[Constantine McGraw]

"Long answer is I lost control and if I stay on the teams it's a whole lot more likely to happen again. I've spent years learning to control what I am. Now, a few weeks on the teams. I feel like I'm back to how I was at 14 only a lot more dangerous."

Con sighed before continuing

"Whatever it is inside me, whatever it is I've been fighting all these years, being on the teams has just been feeding it. Now it's got loose and I need to lock it up again."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Is this about what happened with Victoria?" Rachel asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

[Constantine McGraw]

"That's part of it, yeah." Con replied, a mixture of sadness and self-loathing on his face. Even though Rachel couldn't sense his emotions, it was obvious what had happened pained him deeply.

[Rachel O'Brien]

"So, you did do it?" Rachel asked softly "Stabbed her, I mean."

[Constantine McGraw]

Con nodded. "Yeah, I did." he replied quietly.

[Rachel O'Brien]

Rachel closed her eyes Stupid, stupid, stupid she thought to herself I'm a fucking idiot.

[Constantine McGraw]

"You should go Red. I'm not a good person to be around."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"I'd already worked that out." Rachel said, heading out the door "And don't fucking call me Red."

[Constantine McGraw]

Con watched her go, staring at the door after it closed behind her.

Goodbye Rachel.