Cassiel's office - Issue 1 and on

[Rachel O'Brien]

"I suppose." Rachel replied "On the other hand, he doesn't seem to have a lot of experience dealing with telepaths. I just feel shitty about the situation."

[Michael Asters]

"I hope that this isn't getting off topic, but this doesn't exctly explain the comment you made back in the Mutant Studies lab."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"About ego boundaries?"

[Michael Asters]

"No, the one after that. About being close to people."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Just what I said." Rachel replied "That there is a difference between knowing what is in someone's mind and being close to them."

[Michael Asters]

"On the contrary," Cassiel said. "It's hard to know someone as intimately as we can without feeling a closeness to them. The problem comes when they aren't equally close to us."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"That is what I was trying to say." Rachel said "It just wasn't coming out right."

[Michael Asters]

"It's a difficult thing to deal with," Cassiel admitted. "We can come to know, understand, and even love a person, based solely on our abilities. In the meantime, while we do this, they might barely know we exist."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Sort of like reading someone's blog." Rachel said thoughtfully.

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel thought, then nodded hesitantly. "Slightly. There are important differences, though."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Of course. I was just making an analogy."

[Michael Asters]

"True. But the differences are important. In the first case, we're talking about the reaction to things that people keep private, that others shouldn't be able, in their eyes, to see. In the latter, you're talking about things that people intentionally broadcast specifically because they want to create a connection with another person or people."

[Rachel O'Brien]

"Thats a good point." Rachel said thoughtfully. "Thanks.....you've given me a lot to think about."

[Rachel O'Brien]

((first tutoring session after the mission))

Are you free, Cassiel? Rachel asked. It was the normal time for her class, but since the door was shut, it seemed polite to ask.

[Michael Asters]

Naturally. Come in, Rachel.

[Rachel O'Brien]

Rachel opened the door and came in.

How have you been?

[Michael Asters]

Well enough. A few days rest after a day like Monday is always a good idea. And you?

[Rachel O'Brien]

Pretty well. I've been thinking about how the mission went. Or rather, how my part of the mission went.

[Michael Asters]

Ah, are we in the 'regrets and recriminations' phase of the aftermath?

[Rachel O'Brien]

Pretty much. Which doesn't change the fact I was sloppy and my target selection sucked.

[Michael Asters]

A little more explanation would help.

[Rachel O'Brien]

I was focusing on people who were going after Ryan. Rachel replied And when I was fighting Magdalena, I was so focused on the astral combat that I didn't notice what was going on with her body. I got caught in the backlash when she went into shock when her leg was cut off.

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel nodded. That's something that will get easier with your training. Shall we go over the rest of what you did? What you did accomplish?

[Rachel O'Brien]

If I hadn't been trying to pay attention to two places at once, I'd have noticed Merle was about to do something, and the hostage would still be alive.

[Michael Asters]

You were focused on the task at hand. Personally, I'd rather chalk this up to his imbecilic decision than anything else.

We train, we learn. You can't fault yourself for not being omniscient.

[Rachel O'Brien]

I'm willing to place the primary blame on Merle. I just can't help but feel I should have done more.

[Michael Asters]

And what, exactly, should you have been doing more than you did?

[Rachel O'Brien]

I should have taken Magdalena down faster. I shouldn't have been focusing on keeping vampires off of Ryan. I should have been able to get around the psi-shields. I should have disconnected from Magdalena earlier. As it was, it was just embarrassing, if it'd happened earlier, I'd have been out of the fight.

[Michael Asters]

Then what would you like to work on first, so that you don't make these supposed mistakes next time.

[Rachel O'Brien]

Astral combat, I think. Rachel replied I need to learn how to fight telepaths better. Getting around psi-shielding is something I can do on my own, and the last is a matter of self-discipline.

[Michael Asters]

Cassiel seemed to consider this. That seems fair. However, I want you to remember the first rule we went over about effective telepathic activity?

[Rachel O'Brien]

A telepath needs to know their own mind and emotions first. Rachel replied dutifully Which doesn't apply in this case, as I'm aware of how my emotions affected my behavior.

[Michael Asters]

I'm sure you are. You're simply denying them or second guessing them. It was not your fault that Merle attacked and made the vampire panic. It was not your fault that the vehicle was psi-shielded. It was not your fault that you didn't see that Magdalena's leg was about to be cut off while you were in mental combat with a psychic more experienced than you. It was not a bad judgement call to be assisting the member of your team who was up against the most powerful of the vampires you encountered without backup.

Self delusion in any form will work against you.

[Rachel O'Brien]

Helping Ryan out against Magdalena and Jezebelle made sense. Rachel replied Taking out the flying vampire he was in combat with earlier did not. And I realize that the things that you mentioned were not my fault. But the fact remains that if I had been better, I would have been able to deal with them.

[Michael Asters]

Irrelevant. You were exactly as good today as you could be. The fact that in a month, a year, or a decade you will be better doesn't change the fact that yesterday you performed to the best of your capabilities.

We will work to improve your skills and learn from these experiences to decide what you need to learn next. However, we will maintain the proper mindset for it. You have been training, you have been training hard, and you have been advancing your powers at a rate that is very much to my satisfaction, Cassiel thought, giving her a rare compliment. Therefore, you will not set unrealistic goals and expectations for yourself that might hinder your further progress.

[Rachel O'Brien]

I understand. Rachel replied, her mood brightening noticeably at the praise So, astral combat?

[Michael Asters]

Astral combat.

Astral combat is instinctive. Metaphorical use of your powers. The more you learn, the more your avatar can do. It requires you to instinctively know your own mind to be able to react and attack. Right now, you must not be surprised if, at your current level of training, you simply cannot outmaneuver some opponents. As your training expands, that will change.

[Rachel O'Brien]

So practicing astral combat won't help?