Overcompensation and avoidance (open)

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan had booked one of the Danger Rooms for the entire day, much to the irritation of others who were trying to practice, probably. He moved through the simulations with a variety of displays around him, making notes as he went, the scene changing rather constantly as he looked over pre-made simulations and training exercises. "Still not enough," he muttered as he updated another student's file, mulling over the next in a restless, semi-focused manner.

[Theresa McMasters]

There was a soft ding from the observation deck. "What's not enough?" Theresa asked, looking like she had originally been just passing through.

[Byrna Cooper]

"He's done this before."

Bear looked down as well, waving at Ryan to let him know she was there.

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan looked up at the booth, and frowned slightly at what Bear said. "I've done what before?" he asked defensively.

[Byrna Cooper]

"Thrown yourself into a project and never looked back," she replied, for Theresa's benefit.

She declined to add "to distract yourself from something else."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Anything worth doing is worth doing right," Ryan said, somewhat defensively, as he started updating one of the files.

[Byrna Cooper]

Bear sighed, opening up a link to the files ryan was updating.

[Ryan Gabriel]

The files were largely passworded under Ryan's instructor account. Bear could see some large size updates on the student training files he had open, though. "Nosey nosey," Ryan commented.

[Byrna Cooper]

"Fine. You alone, no help from your friends. Got it."

Bear turned to her own display, going over her own progress chart.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Now wait a second," he said, looking back up at her. "I'm being stand-offish just because I don't go flashing my students' information?"

[Theresa McMasters]

Theresa listened to the brief exchange. "I'll just leave you guys to work this out," she said, before slipping out of the observation deck.

[Byrna Cooper]

"Ryan, do you want help or not?"

Bear was curt.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Well I can't just go... look, why don't you just come down here?" Ryan didn't exactly sound pleased either.

[Byrna Cooper]

"Okay."

A few moments later, she opened to inner door, joining Ryan on the training floor.

"Ryan, what's the matter?" she asked, concerned.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"What's the matter is that I have twice as many students this year, some of them have powers I don't even understand, and I have to figure out how to get them all competent and happy without boring the returning kids to death," Ryan said. Now that Bear was this close, she could see the files he was working with. There were some decent ideas and notes on the returning students, and even a couple of the new ones, but some of them were fairly blank. Which, all in all, shouldn't be that surprising for only having had one class.

[Byrna Cooper]

"You can delegate. There, that's easy. Now, what's the OTHER thing on your mind?"

Bear smiled comfortingly.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Dele- I can't just drop all this on Steph. She's got enough to deal with as it is, let alone what she's going to get."

[Byrna Cooper]

"You know that a lot of these kids will work on their own. You don't need to chart every last one."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"And they'll do fine on their own, yeah. And they'll do even better if I'm pushing them along."

[Byrna Cooper]

"You need more trainers, then. why is this difficult?"

[Ryan Gabriel]

"We don't need more trainers, we just need to figure this out," Ryan said somewhat defensively. Hey, he'd been doing a pretty good job, hadn't he?

[Byrna Cooper]

"Ryan, there are only so many hours in a day. YOu are a great teacher, but there are way, way too many students for you to personally guide here. I want to help, but I'm not seeing a way to get everyone the help they need with just you and Steph."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Hey, let me remind you that we did just fine, and we only had one power instructor. We're doing fine, I just have to figure these kids out."

[Byrna Cooper]

"Ryan, what is the real issue here?"

Bear crossed her arms, and was steadfast.

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan was about to protest, but then he saw the look. He'd never been able to defy the look.

He swallowed, then turned back to his work. "I just... don't have enough time."

[Byrna Cooper]

"What?" she replied, frowning.

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan was quiet for a minute, sort of working up the will to think about what he'd been doing his best to not think about. "I've got this... thing in my head. Magic thing," he quickly elaborated, not wanting her to think he had cancer or something. "Professor Weaver looked, and she isn't even sure what to do about it. I got it from one of those Lemurian assholes, after it turned him into this... big tentacle snake monster. And when I... took it, I guess, the guy sort of... melted away to nothing."

[Byrna Cooper]

"It's magic? there's got to be someone who can get it out magically, right? We're in England, there's got to be a magician close by.."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"This is... apparently something older than she could even understand. There might not be any taking it out without it... doing that." He caught a mistake in what he'd typed, erased it, typed it wrong again. Frustrated at just about everything, he punched his hand through the display, which... well, wasn't that satisfying, since it was a hologram, but it did make the display fizzle away.

[Byrna Cooper]

"Ryan.. take a break. you have a lot to work through.. let the student training project alone for a while.. C'mon."

She gently prodded Him off the DR floor.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"And what am I supposed to do? Go relax, do nothing until this kills me? Run?" He shook his head. "I've done enough of that."

[Byrna Cooper]

"Focus on the real problem, Ryan. And let your friends help you with this."

Given her own issues, Bear felt a twinge of guilt saying this, but she was there for Ryan.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"The real problem?" Ryan's voice caught as he turned toward her. "The real problem is that I can't do anything about this! I'm... just sitting here waiting for it to do whatever it's going to do to me! I can take care of other problems! I can beat them, I can out think them, hell, I can walk away. This?" He turned away from her, blinking his eyes. "You know... I've never been afraid of getting killed, but this? At least if anything had gotten me the past year or two, I could've believed that I'd actually meant something. Now? I might not have enough time to."

[Byrna Cooper]

"Ryan.. You've always meant more than something to me. To everyone here. You've accomplished so much, been a literal shining example for every single person on this campus!"

[Ryan Gabriel]

He was quiet for a moment at that. "I really hope you're right," he said, not sounding certain at all. "It feels... It feels like I could have been. But everything good I had pushed at me, I took for granted and let slip away. Now I might be dying and... I don't know." He shook his head, still not looking at her. "It feels... empty."