Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Roland Sackville** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:14 am

Hey, look, a shuttle set!

TOS 2x02: Metamorphosis, or METAMORPHOSE

Cochrane, you are doing immortality wrong.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:17 am

"I love you. Now that you have boobs and aren't some weird energy-being lady."

Also, what was the point of the stranded guy being the inventor of the warp drive? That added, like, nothing at all.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:08 am

Oh no, old Kirk!

TOS 2x11: The Deadly Years, or WIE SCHNELL DIE ZEIT VERGEHT

Scotty wasn't NEARLY fat enough.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:11 am

HOW FAST THE TIME FLIES

The hell was the point of that witness questioning scene repeating everything we just watched? Do they have t jump through those hoops every time Kirk gets the flu or something and is unfit for duty? Also, Uhura is sassy!

Red Shirt Count: 444 (+1)
Actual Death Count: 34
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 128 (+1 Kirk)
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -35
People: 128
Janeway'd: 4

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:25 am

In this episode, Kirk is always right, damn it.

TOS 2x18: Obsession, or TÖDLICHE WOLKEN

Man, they went redshirt crazy in this one.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:44 am

That guy tried to stupidly sacrifice himself in Kirk's stead and even tried to karate-chop Kirk so he could have him beamed to safety. Clearly he has Captain Potential!

Red Shirt Count: 449 (+5)
Actual Death Count: 34
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 128
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -35
People: 128
Janeway'd: 4

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:56 am

Mack the knife's back in town, baby!

TOS 2x07: Wolf in the Fold, or DER WOLF IM SCHAFSPELZ

Wow, Kirk and Spock made up a lot of shit there.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:00 am

That was ridiculously stupid on so many levels...

Red Shirt Count: 450 (+1)
Actual Death Count: 34
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 128
Cameo Count: 40
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -35
People: 128
Janeway'd: 4

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:51 am

Oh no, Space Amoebas!

TOS 2x19: The Immunity Syndrome, or DAS LOCH IM WELTRAUM

/me nods

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:58 am

THE HOLE IN SPACE

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:02 am

Is it our first...it might be our first...

KIRK SPEECH!

TOS 2x22: Return to Tomorrow, or GEIST SUCHT KÖRPER

Some CLASSIC Shatneracting in this one.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:08 am

SPIRIT SEEKS BODY

That German title sounds like Craigslist ad. And the episode was interesting but ended kind of weirdly. "Bye, gonna kill ourselves now cause we realized we suck."

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Feb 09, 2014 2:53 am

The longest title in the history of Star Trek!

TOS 3x10: For The World is Hollow, and I Have Touched the Sky, or DER VERIRRTE PLANET

Space-AIDS is an important disease.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Feb 09, 2014 2:56 am

THE STRAY PLANET

Man those people had no clue how to built a freaking colony ship, god damn.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:58 am

Well, I'm sure this will all work out in the end.

TAN 2x06: The Counter-Clock Incident, or FLUCHT AUS EINEM ANDEREN UNIVERSUM

Well, next up, we've got one more stop in the animated series.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Feb 10, 2014 4:01 am

ESREVINU TNEREFFID A MORF EPACSE

!sdrawkcab s'gnihtyrevE .bmud ylgnizama saw taht lleW

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:35 am

OH NO, FERENGI! I'm sure that these guys will be worthy adversaries from this point on.

TNG 1x05: The Last Outpost, or DER WÄCHTER

HYEW-MONS.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:42 am

THE GUARDIAN

I didn't think the Ferengi could be worse than what I've already seen, but I was wrong. That was awful.
Also, good job, Data. Beaten by a trinket. And then they bring the joke back in the end! This episode was just plain stupid.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:22 am

And let's keep the Evil Evil Ferengi going!

TNG 1x09: The Battle, or DIE SCHLACHT VON MAXIA

Oh no! Space hallucinations!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:24 am

Aah, petty revenge nonsense. That is defused by the tractor beam. I am shivering in my boots at these very threatening and not at all ridiculous Ferengi. (God the Ferengi suck.) Also, could you be any smugger and insufferable in this episode, Wesley?

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:58 am

Well, how bad could a writer's strike REALLY be?

TNG 2x01: The Child, or DAS KIND

...what the fuck was that.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 3:09 am

In this episode Star Trek shows that it doesn't understand Childbirth, Genetics, Viruses or story structure. Also, Troi was very nonplussed about getting space-raped, having a kid who then buggers off without doing anything. Meanwhile the tech crew helps possibly cure a plague but probably not. The end. What?

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Feb 23, 2014 3:57 am

It's such a tragedy when someone loses...the HEARING GENE

TNG 2x05: Loud As A Whisper, or DER STUMME VERMITTLER

Man, creepy libido-dude was creepy.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Feb 23, 2014 4:07 am

THE MUTE NEGOTIATOR

That Ego, Super Ego, Id Chorus seemed familiar somehow... Also, you're useless Troi. It's not even that there are no circumstances in which she would be useful, it's just that the writers don't know how the fuck to write it. As evidenced by Picard congratulating on a job well done when she did essentially nothing.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:06 am

Oh boy, a scientific episode!
TNG 2x07: Unnatural Selection, or DIEE JUNGEN GREISE

And the award for LEAST convincing aging makeup goes to...

by **Sara Stanton** » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:09 am

NONE of that made sense.

Antibodies don't get farted around. And they don't get spread from one "infected" person to the next. And they don't alter genetic code. And two mutated base pairs aren't going to super-age you. And two point mutations aren't going to spread through all your cells within hours. And fingernails don't contain genetic material. And none of that has anything to do with evolution in any way!

Worst Star Trek Science ever. God damn.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:07 am

Let's talk about ~DEATH~

TNG 3x05: The Bonding, or MUTTERLIEBE

Creepy ghost mom!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:10 am

Somebody call the Ghostbu--

Will Stanton wrote:Let's talk about ~DEATH~

Oh.

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:29 am

Don't you worry about the negotiations, let me worry about blank.

TNG 3x08: The Price, or DER BARZANHANDEL

It's a DS9 AND Voyager backdoor pilot!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:33 am

Huh, Geordie and Data beat Janeway to the Delta Quadrant. Meanwhile Troi almost falls for a shitty PUA sleazeball.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:42 am

Star Trek: Beyond Thunderdome

TNG 3x09: The Vengeance Factor, or YUTA, DIE LETZTE IHRES CLANS

~Fashion~.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:52 am

YUTA, THE LAST OF HER CLAN or What if Onyx was out on a blood feud. Also featuring, Action Riker! Comes with phaser and chair-mounting action!

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:30 am

Gene Roddenberry sure did think his wife was the most beautiful thing in the universe.

TNG 3x24: Ménage à Troi, or DIE DAMEN TROI

Troi's mom AND Ferengi! How could you go wrong!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:33 am

Ferengi and Troi's mom, a match made in hell. Who the hell pitched this episode?

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 3:42 am

Man, there are a LOT of Troi episodes down here.

TNG 4x10: The Loss, or DAS KOSMISCHE BAND

Troi: I feel so two-dimensional!
Audience: We noticed.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Mar 04, 2014 3:48 am

THE COSMIC BAND

As far as Troi episodes go I guess this one wasn't so bad. That's probably the best thing I can say about it.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:19 am

This episode operated within established parameters.

TNG 511: Hero Worship, or DER EINZIGE ÜBERLEBENDE

Beep boop I am a robot.

by **ASHLIE** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:24 am

THE SOLE SURVIVOR

We're a culture, not a costume. This is not who I am, and this is not okay.

Beep boop.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:29 am

Back on this with that old chestnut, the Genetically Engineered Colony

TNG 5x13: The Masterpiece Society, or DAS KÜNSTLICHE PARADIES

Hi, I'm genetically engineered to be blandly plain!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:37 am

THE ARTIFICIAL SOCIETY

The most boring society. Stagnation! Woo! Oh and some entirely unthreatening stellar core fragment or something. Whatever.

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