Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 3:26 am

I REALLY like the A plot in this episode...

DS9 3x22: Explorers, or DIE ERFORSCHER

...the B plot can go fuck itself.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 3:31 am

A wooden space-ship riding tachyons into warp. Alrighty then.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:35 am

Trills do not make sense.

DS9 3x25: Facets, or FACETTEN

Also, Avery Brooks is creepy.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Nov 11, 2013 2:38 am

Trills are magic. Also, Curzon is a much more interesting character than Jedzia.

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:45 am

Oh, Quark. The TRUE profit was to be made on your friends all along!

DS9 4x25: Body Parts, or QUARKS SCHICKSAL

Also, the whole Kira-carrying-Keiko's-Baby thing was WEIRD

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:36 am

Bajoran's can't even do pregnancies right, Ferengis are still terrible.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:02 am

I call this episode Waiting for Odo.

DS9 5x09: The Ascent, or DER AUFSTIEG

Jake and Nog are Shit At This (tm)

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:08 am

Sisko: "Sort this shit out, this is dumb. Also, did you replicate some pants and then forget about them? What is this?"

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 4:02 am

Apparently, we're doing all the Quark episodes! Yay Quark.

DS9 5x18: Business as Usual, or KRIEGSGESCHÄFTE

Yes, that weapons guy wasn't obviously evil.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Nov 19, 2013 3:10 pm

Red Shirts +28,000,000.... oh wait, no. Phew.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:56 am

Alas, poor Morn. We knew him well.

DS9 6x12: Who Mourns for Morn?, or WER TRAUERT UM MORN

That Morn NEVER shuts up.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:58 am

All the Quark episodes. All of them.

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 30 (+1 Oh noooo Mor--oh wait. -1)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127 (+1 Sexy Mud-Bath)
Cameo Count: 39
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 135
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:49 am

No more Quark, but more TONGO!

DS9 6x16: Change of Heart, or WANDEL DES HERZENS

Yes, Worf, I hope sacrificing your career was worth it for ten more episodes of Jadzia!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:53 am

Man, after all that Ezri Dax could have at least given Worf another chance.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:41 am

Star Trek does romantic comedy, with terrifying results.

DS9 6x20: His Way or AUF SEINE ART

God, I kinda hate Vic Fontaine.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:42 am

I liked it. Even the awkward comedy bits.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 3:23 am

Star Trek does magical pixie dream girl, with terrifying results.

DS9 7x03: Afterimage, or NACHEMPFINDUNG

I kind of hate Ezri Dax

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:43 pm

Worst counselor ever. And that's saying something. Oy.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Nov 30, 2013 2:56 am

Star Trek does baseball, with terrifying results!

The Niners totally could have had a couple more runs there, had they not scattered their hits throughout the game.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 01, 2013 1:47 am

Damn dirty Vulcans and their Being Superior In Everything.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 2:41 am

Star Trek does autism, with terrifying results!
DS9 7x05: Chrysalis, or SARINA

That's a stupid question.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 2:44 am

In this episode of Deep Space Nine Bashir builds himself a girlfriend.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 3:32 am

Star Trek does Heaven's Gate, with terrifying results!

DS9 7x09: Covenant, or ENTSCHEIDUNG AUF EMPOK NOR

Dukat IS Jim Jones

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 3:36 am

DECISION ON EMPOK NOR or Dukat is still batshit crazy.

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 31 (+1 Vedek Kira hasn't slept with)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 39
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 135
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:44 am

Star Trek does "Just Say No", with terrifying results!
TNG 1x22: Symbiosis, or DIE SEUCHE

Did you know drugs were bad?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:49 am

I just realized that Tasha Yar's planet is only shitty because they needed somebody to explain why [insert bad thing here] is bad and figured "Back on 20th century Earth" only took them so far.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:55 am

Speaking of shitty Tasha Yar planets...

TNG 1x23: Skin of Evil, or DIE SCHWARZE SEELE

Emily! Stop killing security officers.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:03 am

THE BLACK SOUL

For a being of pure evil and malice that thing really only killed Tasha and then just kinda... inconvenienced everybody for a while. More like Skin of Vague Annoyance.

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 32 (+1 Bye Tasha)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 39
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 135
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:54 am

Set Spiners to maximum!

TNG 2x06: The Schizoid Man, or DAS FREMDE GEDÄCHTNIS

*writes down plot ideas for ASHLIE*

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:58 am

THE FOREIGN MEMORY

Spiners at maximum, I'm reading dangerous levels of Ham, Sir.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 08, 2013 2:11 am

Prime Directive? More like prime...y'know, suggestion.

TNG 2x15: Pen Pals, or BRIEFFREUNDE

Isn't it, y'know, mindboggingly unethical to erase someone's memory?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Dec 08, 2013 2:16 am

Well Pulaski is kind of a dick.

by **Natalya Romanov** » Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:14 pm

She's the reason I can't get watch any episode of Next Gen with her in it.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:42 am

We are smart.

TNG 2x17: Samaritan Snare, or DAS HERZ EINES CAPTAINS

And, holding the Idiot Ball on this one, EVERYBODY BUT WORF.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:49 am

THE HEART OF A CAPTAIN

Holy balls, this was so incredibly stupid. Why did they fall for that? Why didn't they just shoot phasers at them until their shields gave and beamed Geordie over? Why didn't the Enterprise zip over to the Starbase to drop off Picard and Wesley? Why did the German title reference the B plot? Why don't Future-Surgery-Scrubs not include masks? Why am I putting this much thought into it?

Red Shirt Count: 420
Actual Death Count: 32
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 127
Cameo Count: 39
Shut Up Wesley Count: 22 (+2 because a 6 hour trip is going to do that)

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -21
People: 135
Janeway'd: 3

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:47 am

Hurrah, Pulaski's gone again!

TNG 3x01: Evolution, or DER MACHT DER NANITEN

God damn it, why can't we communicate with the nanobots fucking up MY life? Stupid XU plots, not working like Star Trek.

by **ASHLIE** » Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:53 am

THE MIGHT OF THE NANITES

Sir, I could volunteer to interface with the nanites to negoti--*Black Air seizes control of the Lighthouse*

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:55 am

Peak Picard and Peak Data --in the same episode--

TNG 3x02: The Ensigns of Command, or DIE MACHT DER PARAGRAPHEN

According to paragraph 234, subsection 52, clause d, I declare this episode a success.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:02 am

THE MIGHT OF THE PARAGRAPHS or The episode in which Picard talks down a rock.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:53 am

RASHOMON...IN SPAAAAACE

TNG 3x14: A Matter of Perspective, or RIKER UNTER VERDACHT

Man, Riker has weird fanfic.

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