Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:57 am

We've done Janeway's Best of Both Worlds, now is her Inner Light

VOY 7x17: Workford, Part II or ARBEITERSCHAFT, TEIL II

Seriously, is this "Cover Versions of Picard's Greatest Hits" time?

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:02 am

Command Doctor is Best Doctor.

As far as I'm concerned that's what those episodes were about. Everything else was just filler.

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: 5 (-1 Getting a little light on torpedoes there, Voyager)
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:00 am

Set a course -- for home.

VOY 7x25: Endgame, or ENDSPIEL

Janeway and Janeway out Janeway'd the Borg!

by **Sara Stanton** » Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:13 am

And they never actually get to fucking set foot on Earth. Fuck you Voyager.

Also, you fire off exactly ONE torpedo too many. Of course I'm sure there are more torpedoes fired in the episodes I haven't seen yet too and the shuttle count shows no one gave a single shit about any limitations but god damn. Also, Borg exterminated by Space Syphilis. >_>

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 21 (+1 Janeway dies. kinda.)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 32 (It's Barclay!)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1 (-6 Transphasic Magic Bullets)
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:42 am

You know what we need? Religion!

DS9 1x20: In the Hands of the Prophets, or BLASPHEMIE

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS THE MESSAGE

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:46 am

It's Westboro Baptist Space Church!

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:36 am

You can never have enough Bajoran space-gods, right?

DS9 2x01: The Homecoming or DIE HEIMKEHR

Wait, we're supposed to believe that every Bajoran earring is unique and easily recognizable?

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:46 am

Dude just wants to get some freaking rest! Eesh.

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:09 am

This is the first three-parter in Trek history, so we gotta continue with...

DS9 2x02: The Circle or DER KREIS

Oh no, Kira's never coming back!

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:18 am

Oh hey, Kira's back!

Red Shirt Count: 333 (At least one dead security dude)
Actual Death Count: 21
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 32 (It's Barclay!)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:09 am

Aaaaand wrapping up this 2 1/2 parter...

DS9 2x03: The Seige or DIE BELAGERUNG

I can't BELIEVE the Bajorans fell for the holosuite thing.

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:13 am

"Sir! They're in one of dem holo-ma-suits!"

Red Shirt Count: 333
Actual Death Count: 22 (Off the hook!)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 32 (It's Barclay!)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:11 am

O'BRIEN MUST SUFFER

DS9 2x14: Whispers or O'BRIENS IDENTITÄT

FAKE O'BRIEN MUST SUFFER

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:20 am

Man, they just straight up murdered O'Brien. Harsh.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:43 am

KLINGONS, ASSEMBLE!

DS9 2x19: Blood Oath, or DER BLUTSCHWUR

KANG! KOLOTH! KOR! And Jadzia Dax.

by **Sara Stanton** » Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:49 am

"For glorious battle!"

"It's a good day to die!"

"For our honor!"

"And Dax was there too!"

Red Shirt Count: 333
Actual Death Count: 24 (Kang and Koloth noo--ah who cares.)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 35 (The Three ~~Stooges~~ Klingons)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:53 pm

WE MUST CONTINUE OUR STUDY OF KLINGON SOCIETY!

DS9 3x03: The House of Quark, or DAS HAUS DES QUARK

Good look to you....AND YOUR HOOOOOOOOUSE.

by **Sara Stanton** » Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:06 am

"There's no honor in accounting! Our society is really bad at anything that isn't warfare!"

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:03 am

MORE KLINGO...wait, no more Klingons?

DS9 3x05: Second Skin, or DIE ZWEITE HAUT

Face of the Enemy, Part II?

by **Sara Stanton** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:23 pm

Man they chickened out of a massive twist! Still a cool episode though. Maybe Bashir lied to her to make her feel better. >_>

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:43 pm

ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS:

DS9 3x07: Civil Defense or IN DER FALLE

You have 8 minutes to comply.

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:49 pm

Attention Gul Dukat. Screw you.

Also, I wanna see an Odo/Quark buddy-cop-movie.

Red Shirt Count: 334 (Poor that one guy in Ops)
Actual Death Count: 24
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 35
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:36 pm

The name's...Riker. ~~William~~ Thomas Riker.

DS9 3x09: Defiant, or DEFIANT

"We'll get you out of there Tom" *warps off, never to be heard from again*

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:42 pm

Thomas Riker sure has some shit luck. He also makes some really bad decisions.

Red Shirt Count: 334
Actual Death Count: 24
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 36 (It's a Riker anyway)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:19 am

WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK, MILES!

DS9 3x17: Visionary or DAS VISIONÄR

Let it be noted, for the record, that Barrin figured out the twist because she had watched enough Star Trek to know how Romulan engines work.

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:21 am

I'm smarter than Bashir! And angrier than Kira.

Red Shirt Count: 334
Actual Death Count: 25 (Alas poor Miles...)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 36
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:14 am

And now, the Adventures of Space Hitler, Part XIV

DS9 4x14: Return to Grace, or ZU NEUER WÜRDE

Greedy, greedy Dukat.

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:21 am

It's the Dukat and Kira show!

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:21 pm

KLIIINGONS

DS9 5x03: Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places or GEFÄHRLICHE LIEBSCHAFTEN

...Really? We're going to call the episode that? Alright.

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:24 pm

Today is a good day to ~~die~~ make sweet love!

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:49 am

WAR: IT'S A BAD THING

DS9 5x04: Nor the Battle to the Strong, or DIE SCHLACHT UM AJILON PRIME

DO NOT LIKE WAR. WAR IS BAD.

by **Sara Stanton** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:55 am

War. War never changes...

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:46 am

And now, Space Jesus and Space Pope have Prophecy Adventures!

DS9 5x10: Rapture, or HEILIGE VISIONEN

The Lost City of Bahtoom seems a HELL of a lot like that cave set they always go to.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:48 am

Man Bajorans are terrible at anything. It took Sisko, like, a minute to figure out that painting/obelisk.

by **Natalya Romanov** » Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:50 am

Nailah Weaver wrote:Bajorans are terrible.

Could have stopped at that and been right.

I love DS9, but the Bajorans are, at best, irritating.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:59 am

Aaaaaaaaand we get something similar in character.

DS9 5x12: The Begotten, or DAS BABY

What a silly German title.

by **Sara Stanton** » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:01 am

How Odo Got His Groove Back or Bajorans Can't Do Anything Without Being Silly.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:52 am

We HAVE to be close to the end of Klingon episodes, don't we? No?

DS9 5x21: Soldiers of the Empire or MARTOKS EHRE

Can I say again how STUPID Klingon....well, everything is?

by **Sara Stanton** » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:57 am

Having trouble fighting the Dominion? Losing all your honor cause you suck? Get two main characters to come aboard!

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Jul 13, 2013 1:53 am

Oh, right, Garak's a character on this show!

DS9 5x24: Empok Nor, or EMPOK NOR

Fun fact: this is the only episode of the series where a member of Starfleet uses a racial slur.

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