Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:56 am

Wesley's back! Yay for Wesley!

TNG 5x06: The Game, or GEFÄHRLICHE SPIELSUCHT

Angry Birds: Space on your Google Glass!

by **Sara Stanton** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:57 am

Ultimate Space Zynga. All it was missing were microtransactions to get more frisbees to throw at tuba-worms.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:50 am

And now, Robin Williams! ...Wait, what? What's Hook, anyway?
TNG 5x09: A Matter of Time, or DER ZEITREISENDE HISTORIKER

Yes, he is bringing secret technology back to the 22nd century, like the knife

by **Sara Stanton** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:04 am

Look, the 22nd Century was a very dark period of time. Knife technology was all but forgotten.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:48 am

WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP A HOLODECK AROUND?

TNG 6x08: A Fistful of Datas or EINE HANDVOLL DATAS

Counselor Durango...

by **Sara Stanton** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:02 am

Well then, that was a better Westworld than Westworld.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 2:37 am

Now for the most disjointed two-parter in Trek history!

TNG 6x16: Birthright, Part I, or DER MOMENT DER ERKENNTNIS, TEIL I

Hey, did you know there's a show called Deep Space 9? It's totally Deep Space 9ish.

by **Sara Stanton** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 2:40 am

THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION

Turns out Androids dream of birds, not sheep.

Red Shirt Count: 323
Actual Death Count: 19
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31 (Bashir! And Morn, I'm being told.)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: 0
Torpedoes: 19
People: 139
Janeway'd: 1

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:10 am

AND NOW THE THRILLING CONCLUSIONzzzzzz

TNG 6x17: Birthright, Part II, or DER MOMENT DER ERKENNTNIS, TEIL II

Oh, Worf, you space-racist. Spacist.

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:14 am

Klingons gotta fight! Because

or something!

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:58 am

And now, Picard Babe Of The Week #....I'm gonna say four? I dunno, it's been a few.

TNG 6x19: Lessons, or DER FEUERSTURM

"Oh, shit, yeah, we should mention Inner Light again."

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:05 am

That was... surprisingly good.

Red Shirt Count: 331 (+8 flambéed blue-shirts)
Actual Death Count: 19
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: 0
Torpedoes: 19
People: 139
Janeway'd: 1

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:49 am

And now -- MYSTERY IS AFOOT. Or a hand. Or a shield.

TNG 6x22: Suspicions, or VERDÄCHTIGUNGEN

I'm sure all these plot mysteries fit well together.

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 10, 2013 2:52 am

Man, that had more plot holes than Into Darkness.

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:15 am

It's season seven! MEET EVERYONE'S RELATIVES

TNG 7x10: Inheritance, or SOONGS VERMÄCHTNIS

How Data Met His Mother

by **Sara Stanton** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:25 am

That was kinda awkward and weird before it became interesting.

Also, it feels like we've seen this "drilling with phasers" sub-plot before somewhere.....

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:08 am

And now for... the traveler.

TNG 7x20: Journey's End, or AM ENDE DER REISE

Spaceman's Burden.

by **Sara Stanton** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:17 am

The hell did I just watch? That was... dumb.

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:14 am

Now that we've set UP Voyager, time to WATCH Voyager!

VOY 2x21: Deadlock, or DIE VEDOPPLUNG

No one seems to care Harry's body is floating through space.

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:21 am

Okay now you're just trying to break my Voyager Tracker.

Red Shirt Count: 331
Actual Death Count: 20 (+1 Harry Kim)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: 0
Torpedoes: 19
People: 140 (+1 Baby, -1 Baby, -1 Harry Kim, + 1 Harry Kim, +1 Baby)
Janeway'd: 1

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:01 am

And we have a new challenger for "dumbest science thing"

VOY 3x17: Unity, or DIE KOOPERATIVE

Oh, Chiplote, don't fall for everyone.

by **Sara Stanton** » Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:08 am

The Borg have a magical healing network power. I think this might be scientifically worse than Rascals. Also: Telepath Sex.

Red Shirt Count: 332 (+1 Oh no, Ensign What's-Her-Face!)
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -1 (Another Shuttle lost, now starting to tap into that relativistic hangar that may or may not contain theoretical shuttles)
Torpedoes: 19
People: 139 (-1 red shirt)
Janeway'd: 1

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:50 pm

How subtly does Voyager replace main characters? Let's find out!

VOY 4x02: The Gift, or DIE GABE

Kes is hangin' out with the Traveler and Wesley.

by **Altamira Vazquez** » Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:53 pm

The essence of the flame? Amateur.

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -2 (Just blowing up shuttles left and right)
Torpedoes: 19
People: 138 (-1 Okampa)
Janeway'd: 1

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:43 am

The Kazon were too bad, the Borg were too good. Could Voyager find an enemy that was just right?

VOY 4x15: Hunters, or JÄGER

For introducing a new villain, they really don't...introduce them did they?

by **Sara Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:46 am

They like spines. That'll have to do for introduction.

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -3 (Oh come on!)
Torpedoes: 19
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2 (Here we go. Blowing up a quadrant-spanning communications network with a black hole. Good job.)

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:36 am

Boy, I wonder if this very next episode, entitled something very similar to the previous episode, has anything to do with these people?

VOY 4x16: Prey, or DIE BEUTE

Space Aliens v. Space Predators! ... Wait.

by **Sara Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:40 am

First rule of Voyager is Janeway is always right.

Second rule of Voyager is Janeway is always right, even when she's not because fuck you, that's why.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:22 pm

Let's keep going with Seven and Janeway! Who cares about the rest of the dudes on the ship.

VOY 4x26: Hope and Fear IN FURCHT UND HOFFNUNG

Janeway, could you NOT break the way home?

by **Sara Stanton** » Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:29 pm

How come apparently every other species in the Delta Quadrant has some kind of transwarp slipstream technology yet Janeway manages to piss every one of them off so much they won't share it?

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -3
Torpedoes: 14 (-5 Torpedoes, 2 that actually hit)
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2 Not adding to this, but seriously, stop breaking new warp technology an hour into using it every damn time.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:34 am

Now, let's do a Kim episohaha no.

VOY 5x22: Someone to Watch Over Me, or LIEBE INMITTEN DER STERNE

The problems of one little hologram and one borg don't amount to a hill of nanoprobes in this crazy quadrant.

by **ASHLIE** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:40 am

Seven/Doctor OTP

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:24 am

And now for a Chakotay epihaha no, more Seven.

VOY 6x08: One Small Step, or EIN KLEINER SCHRITT

And now we lay his body to rest in space...where, uh, it was in the first place. ... IT'S VOYAGER.

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:29 am

It's the Seven of Nine Show, everybody!

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:54 pm

You know what Voyager didn't do enough of? BORG EPISODES
VOY 6x26: Unimatrix Zero, or UNIMATRIX ZERO, TEIL I

Oh no! The Borg are coming! Better casually walk away!

by **Sara Stanton** » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:56 pm

Maybe the Borg should actively pay attention more often.

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4 (Shuttles really are more of a transporter-range-extension at this point)
Torpedoes: 9 (-5 Torpedoes)
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:05 am

And now, the thrilling contusion.

VOY 7x01: Unimatrix Zero, Part II, or UNIMATRIX ZERO, TEIL II

Um..isn't Voyager headed in the general DIRECTION of the Beta Quadrant?

by **Sara Stanton** » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:08 am

Apparently Borg Assimilation is on par with, like, the flu or something at this point.

Red Shirt Count: 332
Actual Death Count: 20
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 120
Cameo Count: 31
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: 6 (-3 Torpedoes)
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:10 am

Hey, look! It's NOT the Borg!
VOY 7x16: Workforce, or ARBEITERSCHAFT, TEIL I

Command Doctor is Best Doctor

by **Sara Stanton** » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:11 am

Commandoctor doesn't need torpedoes. Surgical precision phaser strikes go!

Who is online