Issue 12: I Never got the Hang of Thursdays

[Narrator]

It was a quiet, calm Thursday Monday afternoon at the point, in front of the Lighthouse.

Or, it was until, from the shore, a quartet started making their way up towards it.

"Well, this here's the spot, boyos. Ain't that sight -- these X-freaks think they can just set up whatever they want. Ain't got the common courtesy to ask around, see if anyone else might have a problem, y'know?

Well, how-do, Pilgrims -- anyone home? That's right, babes..."



Wrecker, hoisting his crowbar, strode forward in the lead. Thunderball began swinging his wrecking ball like a bolo. Bulldozer cracked his neck, his flexing in his armor. Piledriver rubbed his massive hands together, in anticipation.

[ASHLIE]

"I was not informed of any more construction work. And might I add, you are behaving extremely rudely." says Ashlie's Victorian Teacher-like avatar as it manifests itself outside the lighthouse.

[Narrator]

"Like my muh said," Bulldozer said, charging towards ASHLIE, "Anythin' to oblige a lady!"

He put his head down, aiming to smash ASHLIE into a wall

[ASHLIE]

There's a look of utter confusion on Ashlie's face at this as she tackled into the wall, at which point the hard-light construct cracks, shatters and dissolves in pink motes.

[Amanda Weinrich]

Amanda had been walking by, and when she saw ASHLIE being attacked, didn't hesitate. She dropped her satchel and ran towards the lighthouse, when she reached the base she shifted into what might be described as a giant-Shoggoth-esque hellbeast, except that anyone who saw her for the first time tended to start gibbering, and lashed out towards the team with fanged, acid dripping tentacles.

[Janice Gilbertson]

Captain Britain came soaring in, having arrived as soon as she could after ASHLIE alerted her. She hovered in midair, looking the scene over.

"...you have got to be kidding me."

[Narrator]

"Holy shite, you're ugly!" Wrecker said, glaring at Amanda. "But you ain't got it in ya to go one on one with the great one!"

He raised his crowbar high, and went to engage.

"Ah, Caps. Gonna be a pleasure to smash you, like we did in '76!" Thunderball shouted, whirling his, well, wrecking ball.

[Janice Gilbertson]

"Were all the good James Bond puns taken?"

She cast out her forcefield in a wedge of force, aiming it in the path not of the ball, but of the chain, close to his hand.

[Amanda Weinrich]

Amanda reached out with her tentacle, striking snake like at Wrecker.

[Sara Stanton]

As the brawl gets going Sara runs up from the direction of the mansion, shifting to stone as she does and pulling mass from the ground with each step, bulking up.

[Bobby Bowen]

A sporty late model sedan pulled up, parking off to the side. The driver's door opened, and Bobby's head appeared, surveying the scene.

"The danger room practise just got cut short, guys.. Tommy, run for cover and keep people who cant fight away from the lighthouse.. Christy, lose the shoes."

He stepped out of the car, cracking his knuckles.

[Thomas Bowen]

Tommy gulped, drew his hat down, and scampered back towards the main building.

[Melody Martens]

"You've gotta be shitting me. 1970 called, they want their style back," Melody said, bolting across the grounds, tossing two bombs at the attackers furthest from the lighthouse as soon as soon as she was in throwing distance.

[Cecil Langdon]

Cecil quickly arrived at the source of the commotion. He took a second to look around and try and figure out what was going on.

"What the bloody hell?"

[Narrator]

Janice's forcefield stopped Thunderball's momentum quite easily, sending the wrecking ball flying back towards the grounds and the labyrinth.

When it landed, it created quite the earthquake. "Blast!"

____

Wrecker swung his crowbar at Amanda's tentacles. "These are like love taps to the Wrecker. Yer dead meat, you just don't realize it yet!"

____

The explosions certainly dazed the remaining two members, but not for long. Melody would soon have a 60MPH Bulldozer barelling straight at her and Sara, head down.

____

That left the big-handed Piledriver, headed towards Bobby and Cecil. "Youse is JIVIN me, busters. Youse are only two super-heroes, and skinny ones, at that -- how's you gonna hurt Piledriver, huh?"

[Will Stanton]

"X-Men! Watch out for that wrecking ball!" Will said, charging towards the fight. "It's not neutralized yet!"

[Sara Stanton]

"Get behind me!" Sara shouts at Melody and roots herself into the ground to brace her bulk against Bulldozer.

[Thomas Bowen]

"Argh!"

Tommy ducked and covered, as the massive ball soared above his head and impacted, sending him tumbling to the ground from the tremors.

[Bobby Bowen]

That left the big-handed Piledriver, headed towards Bobby and Cecil. "Youse is JIVIN me, busters. Youse are only two super-heroes, and skinny ones, at that -- how's you gonna hurt Piledriver, huh?"

"Really easily, actually."

Bobby smirked, getting into a defensive position.

"You're a pile of something, just not drivers."

[Kevin Gravis]

A knight in glowing golden armor rushed in between Tommy and the danger, glowing swords at the ready.

"Go. I've got this."

[Cecil Langdon]

“Okay, so a bunch of tossers in bad costumes want their arses kicked, got it.”

So the Lovecraftian horror is one of ours?

Cecil's plan was to wait until Piledriver got close then jump and flip over him and attack him with a telekinesis reinforced elbow to the back.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Looks like we've graduated to the big leagues, people!" Ryan shouted as he swooped down, firing a draining blast at Wrecker as he circled overhead. "God-like powers, don't hold a THING back!"

[Alex Carpenter]

Alex watched, swallowing as he saw the fight breaking out... then his eyes went wide as he saw something that looked distinctly like opportunity. Oh god yes yes yes yes yes yes don't move don't move... he thought as he made a beeline to the labrynth, going iron in the meantime and ready to cut a path through the hedges. Greater good, greater good...

[Melody Martens]

Melody's eyes widened and she braced herself behind Sara, readying a beachball sized bomb in between her hands.

[Victoria Valentine]

"Stupid and rude. They do tend to go together," Victoria mused, melting into being in the middle of the chaos. "Need a hand, darling?" she called over the din at Sara, even while in the back of her mind she started an incantation to throw at Bulldozer.

[Janice Gilbertson]

Captain Britain meanwhile swooped down and planted herself between Thunderball and his wrecking ball.

"Go on, try."

[Sara Stanton]

"Not going to turn that down either way, Vickie."

[Kevin Gravis]

"Gods schmods, toss them from a spaceship and they're all aieeeeeeeeee!" Kevin said cheerfully, trailing off to a whisper.

"So who do I cut first? Crowbar dude? Crowbar dude."

Kev went for said crowbar dude, swinging.

[Thomas Bowen]

Tommy crawled up to his knees, peering briefly at the hammer, and then scooted in the opposite direction, looking for an exit.

[Haley Crusek]

Haley, apparently not having learned any better, was again in the center of the maze meditating when her focus was interrupted by a brief whistle and a sudden impact that knocked her back into the hedges, right into the path of Alex.

"MotherFUCKER," she swore, her shirt impaled by several sharp branches that scraped uncomfortably at her sides.

[Narrator]

Piledriver ran by Cecil, swinging a big meaty, oversized fist at Bobby. Cecil's jumping elbow, therefore, connected. Although it was TK enhanced, it still would probably smart like the dickens, as Piledriver's quite durable. Still, at least he gave as bad as he got.

_____________

Bulldozer collided with Sara, slamming into her and trying to drive her back. Sara would be at risk of sliding backwards, even with her feet in the ground. She could use a little bit of assistance, be it magical or explosive.

___________

Kevin's sword came in and flashed against Wrecker's crowbar. "Oh, big mistake, lad. I'm gonna turn your brains into AAHHH!"

By "Ahhh," presumably he meant being shot in the back by Ryan's power bolts. "Buncha minor league WANNABES."

_____________

"You don't think I'm as dumb as the rest of these guys, do you?" Thunderball asked Captain Britain, reaching out one hand.

Alex, in the process of absorbing some of the metal in the wrecking ball, would find the ball --- presumably, with him attactched -- all of a sudden flying towards the center of the battle, on a path to Thunderball's hands that just so happen to go directly through the good Cap'n.

[Will Stanton]

"Get alongside Bulldozer! He can't see a THING in that helmet!" Will called out, surveying the field, and deciding to go give Bobby and Cecil a hand with Piledriver.

[Melody Martens]

Melody was still knocked back by the impact against Sara's stone form, but she was at least in one piece instead of laying with every bone in her body broken. She darted around Sara's side, tossing her beachball-sized bomb dodgeball-style at Bulldozer.

"Hey, asshat, catch!" she said as the bomb came close to connecting--hopefully too soon to be seen. It would explode powerfully regardless.

[Christine Bowen]

"Ready for me to toss you, bro?" Christie asked

[Amanda Weinrich]

Amanda kept hitting Wrecker, figuring that eventually, the acid would do its work.

[Bobby Bowen]

"With this chump? No way. Watch this."

Bobby stayed in position, as Cecil's blow sent Piledriver slightly off balance.

He waited until the absolute last possible second, feeling the giant hamfist whistling through the air...

He then dropped to the ground, shifting his form into a solid, anchored wedge designed to trip him up, out of control..

[Cecil Langdon]

Cecil grimaces a bit with the hit.

I didn't expect him to be this tough.

He then dashed off to the side building up a little speed and looking for an opportunity to attack.

[Christine Bowen]

Christie, with a smile, planted her feet, aiming a punch at his head.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Ohhhh... you just want to THINK we're minor league!" Ryan shouted as he found himself supercharged by... well, absorbing godlike lifeforce was something else. Wings glowing, he dove down, opening up with another blast before Wrecker could start in on Kevin too much.

[Victoria Valentine]

"I've always wanted to play with Asgardians," Victoria mused, unleashing a disrupting wave at Bulldozer, trying to put a strain on his link to his source of power.