[DR] I Am Not Left Handed

[Regan Rourke]

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"...return to position...and swing,"

Regan was practicing.

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"Return to position...and swing."

It turned out that the Danger Room had tutorials on swords.

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"Return to position...and swing."

They were state of the art, world class tutorials, designed to help students learn proper form and build up the muscles necessary to use a sword.

They were absolutely useless to ghosts with magic swords.

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"Return to position...and swing."

"Shut up!" Regan shouted at the computer.

[Roland Sackville]

"Still not getting the hang of it, are we?"

[Regan Rourke]

"This thing is retarded," Regan says, throwing the blade down in frustration, "It's just the same shit over and over again."

[Roland Sackville]

"Sounds an awful lot like practice, if you ask me."

[Regan Rourke]

"It's boring," Regan complains, "I mean, I don't have all day."

[Roland Sackville]

"Oh? And, pray tell, what else did you have on your busy docket for today?"

[Regan Rourke]

"Watching infomercials." Regan says, "They're absolutely amazing."

"They're tiny windows into loneliness and misery."

[Roland Sackville]

"Two subjects you consider yourself a master of, am I right?"

[Regan Rourke]

"I am the Rene Magritte of human misery," Regan says.

[Roland Sackville]

"Ceci n'est pas une sens de l'humour."

[Regan Rourke]

"You should say that while holding a pipe."

[Roland Sackville]

"Haven't you heard? Smoking could kill you."

[Regan Rourke]

"I know," Regan says, "I was smoking when I died."

"Also, burning, bleeding, and screaming," Regan says, "But I think it was the smoke that really finished me off."

[Roland Sackville]

"You should try to avoid all of those in future."

[Regan Rourke]

"I'll do my best," Regan says flatly.

[Roland Sackville]

"So. How are things coming along?"

[Regan Rourke]

"I've learned you're supposed to stick the pointy end into things."

[Roland Sackville]

"Make sure they are things belonging to the baddies.

That's probably a more advanced tip than you're ready for."

[Regan Rourke]

"Because this sword is so capable of hurting the innocent," Regan says, demonstrating by stabbing it through the wall with no ill effect.

[Roland Sackville]

"You'd be surprised at what swords can and can not do -- and who counts as innocent."