Fight #9: Bobby v. Menagerie

[Narrator]

A girl in a slinky black dress awaited Bobby, smiling at him.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby adjusted his fully covering gloves, hoping they would be enough to disguise his metal [powers. As it was, his face and head was the only skin showing.

"So, what do you do?" he asked the girl.

[Narrator]

"Give little boys something to cry over," she grinned.

[Bobby Bowen]

"Unless you're a mutant onion, you better have something else up your sleeve, babe."

Bobby danced around a little, displaying some footwork and bringing his fists up to guard.

[Narrator]

And then Bobby was attacked by a lion.

[Bobby Bowen]

"Yeeooww!"

Bobby went down, holding his arms up in front of him for protection and shifting them into metal, still covered up.

[Narrator]

The lion roared directly in his face, and went to take a big 'ol bite of Bobbyflesh.


Mmmm, Bobbyflesh.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby jammed one arm inside the jaws of the lion, while attempting to poke the eyes with his other arm.

[Narrator]

And then the lion thing bit down--would it have any effect on the metal arm?

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby really, really hoped not?

Meanwhile he scrambled about under the lion as he continued the eye poking, hoping to shift the weight about to escape.

[Narrator]

The lion roared, and then the girl shifted and twisted around Bobby...

...who found himself now being tightly constricted by a boa...uh...constrictor.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby grunted while the air lasted, trying to shift his torso into his silvery strong self. It was difficult keeping his head flesh, though.

"Kinda.. clingy, aren't you? I'm not really looking for a commitment, sorry..."

[Narrator]

"Sssssssssssay uncle, and maybe you can sssssssssssssee that lossssssssing isssssssn't sssssssssso bad..."

[Bobby Bowen]

"Sure you can't go back to the slinky dress? I think I liked that look the most.."

Bobby was struggling to maintain his form.. keeping two different states going was inherently unstable.

[Narrator]

"No, you assssssssssssssssssssss. I'm sssssssssssssssssssssorry, but I've got to win thissssssssssssssss fight."

More squeezing...

[Bobby Bowen]

"Me too, babe..."

From under one of Bobby's gloves, a long sharp brass blade appeared to spring out, slicing into the side of the snake.

[Narrator]

The snake hissed in pain...

...and shifted into an elephant, sitting on Bobby.

"Ass," she trumpeted.

[Bobby Bowen]

There was some muffled muttering coming from under the massive amount of elephant, Probably not fit for British rebroadcast.

[Narrator]

"I didn't want to suffocate you, but you had to make with the stabbings. What WILL your obituary say, I wonder?"

[Bobby Bowen]

"Definitely... not killed by elephant ass..." Bobby was able to get out, before getting smothered again, briefly.

"And.. if you didn't like my springblade before, then sorry about this.."

From underneath Menagerie would feel dozens of spikes impact all over, emanating from many places, it seemed.

[Will Stanton]

Trumpeting in pain!

And then, mercifully, she flew up towards the roof as a falcon, screeching.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby huffed and puffed, then stood up slowly, looking up at the falcon.

"You had such a pretty ass before. Shame."

[Narrator]

"You can KISS it," the bird screeched, swooping down, talons forward.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby reared back, faking being still winded for as long as possible, before deking and striking out quickly with a metal hand covered in thin glove, aiming for the head of the bird.

[Narrator]

"Squock!" the bird cried, as it smacked against the wall, and then the floor, shifting to a rat and scurrying away to give herself time to regroup.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby attempted to not give her the chance, scooping up the rat by the tail, while extending a blade from his other gloved hand, aiming it at the neck of the rat. Hopefully it was successful.

"This is a good time for you to to surrender, I think."

[Narrator]

And all of a sudden, he was holding a scorpion, trying to sting his hand!

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby smirked.

"No? Okay, fine."

He then threw the scorpion at the wall, hard. Well, hopefully just hard enough to incapacitate it.

[Narrator]

The scorpion staggered, shifted into first a cat, and then a dog, and then a mule, before passing out as the young girl from earlier.

[Bobby Bowen]

Bobby smiled, before exhaling heavily. and wiping his brow.

"Okay, which way to the bar?"