Issue 1 Downtime

The unarmored Paladin walked over to Atropha after talking to Order. Having removed his goggles, smock, and work gloves at some point and handed her a hot mug.

"I did not need you looking smug while I told Order that I did not need him causing problems in my house," Paladin said, "I also need you to not needle him. I will not always be there to separate the two of you and blood stains are rather difficult to remove from unsealed concrete."

Holy crap humor from Paladin.

"Me needle him?" she asks, resisting the urge to throw the mug at... something. She also may be mistaking kindness for being belittled.

Paladin held a mug of his own, which meant he certainly didn't care.

"Yes, his comments just struck harder," Paladin said, "He does not know that Harbinger treated you badly."

"And now you feel you need to pity me for that?"

"Not pity, concern for somebody who has experienced great pain and was going to cut somebody's throat because of it despite them not being involved," Paladin said.

"Not like he wouldn't have deserved it anyway."

She sighs. "But you're right. None of this is his fault..."

"Perhaps he does," Paladin said, "We've all done terrible things, but nonetheless the only one at fault here is Harbinger."

And me.

"She wasn't even intending to kill me. Wouldn't even let me do it myself..."

"She wanted you to suffer and death is an escape," Paladin said, "I fail to see where your fault is in this."

"Don't. Do. That!" she hisses.

Paladin puts up a hand.

"Peace Atropha," Paladin said, "I'm sorry if caused you discomfort, but the question still stands despite my impolite methods."

"That's none of your business, hot chocolate or not."

"Then I will ask no further," Paladin said, "There is more in the kitchen if you want a refill, Atropha."

"And would you stop being so disturbingly nice? Good god..." she mumbles.

Paladin chuckled softly and drank some of his hot chocolate.

"It's just confusing. Not what you'd ever expect here." she says, taking a sip.

"No it isn't," Paladin said sadly, "Which is part of the problem. People should not need to worry about whether or not the person next to them will stab them for their pocket change or sell them into slavery. They should not need to worry about Apophis or his thugs breaking down their door in the night. It is these small acts of kindness that help pave the road for larger acts."

"That is not to say I am perfect. I've done terrible things...for all the right reasons but that doesn't change that they were terrible things. The other side is not frightened of me because I plug their rifles with flowers, and the powerless are not emboldened by the theoretical act of me doing so."

"And that's why it's ultimately not going to change anything."

"But I will keep trying," Paladin said, "Right up until it kills me."

"There's something profound to be said about hope here, but you'll excuse me if I can't quite muster the will for it right now."

"I can pretend to be impressed as if you had made a suitably profound comment," Paladin said, "Or we can wait until you've rested a bit more then you can make profound comments about my philosophy and methodology."

"Why? So I can sound like a hypocrite?"

"If that is your desire, certainly," Paladin said, "Though one would think that instead you'd find solace in the routine of it."

"Solace. Hah!" She lets out a harsh laugh.

Paladin cocked an eyebrow.

"Even in this world. As dirty as it is there is some to be had, Atropha," Paladin said, "You just need to look for it, work for it, and occasionally bleed for it."

"I've bled enough. I'm not sure there's much left."

"Then perhaps you'll soon find the solace you seek," Paladin said, "Personally I just remember the first time I gave a slave child her freedom. Her smile is something I carry with me even now. Or the first family meal grown in the farmland next to the refuge in Minnesota. Or even the smallest thing, a guard putting one of my posters back up after it fell."

"Those are the things that give me solace in dark times."

"Then cling to that. I shattered the one thing that used to give me hope."

"Even shattered things can be put back together," Paladin said, "It certainly takes a great deal of effort but things that are worthwhile are rarely easy."

"Some things are beyond repair. I know you're trying to cheer me up but there's no point deluding myself."

"How do you know? Have you already tried and failed since I last saw you?" Paladin asked.

"I tried and failed before me met. It's too late now."

"So you will not try more than once to save your precious thing?" Paladin asked.

"It's little more complicated than 'Just keep trying'."

"You'll have to explain the circumstances," Paladin said.

That gets a laugh out of her, even if it's a slightly bitter one.

"Let's just say I burned a bridge I can't repair and leave it at that."

Paladin covered a sigh by drinking some more hot chocolate.

Too many secrets

"There seem to be few topics of conversation we can actually carry for long," Paladin said in a kind tone.

"Maybe I'm just too jaded for your idealism."

"Perhaps," Paladin said, "I've been fighting for a long time though, so perhaps there is some wisdom in it."

"And look at the world out there and the good that's done."