The Rivera Show

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan elbowed Kelly. "Dude, you need to say what happened to you at the party," he whispered.

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly was startled by the nudge and jumped up, "Her lady parts never touched mine!"

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan winced visibly at his friend's excited outburst.

[Narrator]

You asshole! It was you! Joey bellowed, struggling to get loose. Security managed to get him sitting down again, but not before he was halfway across the stage.

"Caitlin, do you remember what happened with you and Kelly that night?"

I...I don't remember. Caitlin responded I know we did something, but my memory is kind of hazy, on account of the 'L'.

"Ok, so lets make sure that I've got this straight." Jerry said, for the benefit of the audience "Ryan, Kelly and Raven all admit that they had sexual contact with Caitlin, but all of you claim that there is no way that any of you could be the father of Caitlin's baby, correct?"

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly slowly sat in his seat and sighed nervously.

"Oui, Mr. Revera."

[Narrator]

"Since all of you, along with Archangel submitted a DNA sample, we're going to be able to find out the truth, after the break." Jerry Rivera said, as they cut to commercial.

[Kelly St Luc]

"Oh my savior! I don't know what's going on! I don't really even remember this girl Ryan. It was dark in that alley...how do I know it was even her...I was a bit drunk. I mean like super drunk. Like I might have walked out with a fat girl that night...And I mean like really fat. Like Star Jones before the surgery or If Rosie ate Rosie." Kelly started to attempt to bite his talons as the break started.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Kelly," Ryan whispered, "Just calm down. I doubt anyone here is the father."

"Besides, Captain Touchy down there is probably popping out mutant offspring and wants to get out of supporting it," he added, a little louder so Joey could hear. It was commercial, after all, the world wasn't seeing this part.

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly obviously did not get the hint to talk softly, "Who is Captain Touchy?"

[Ryan Gabriel]

"The douche down there who's pretending to be upset that his girlfriend that he's spent the whole first half of the show insulting might have touched men other than him," Ryan answered, this time not even making any pretense at keeping his voice down.

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly exclamied loudly in realization, "Oh that douche down there!" He pointed and gave a soft chuckle.

[Narrator]

"Fuck both of you assholes!" Joey shouted, coincidentally just as the show was coming back from break "I love Caitlin and I love Zayden." he stood up, fists balled at his sides "But now, every time I look at him, all I can do is think that one of you mutie freaks couldn't keep their hands of her."

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly tried to be tough but failed with his insult, "Sorry I'm a top."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Okay, first of all, get straight who couldn't keep whose hands to themselves," Ryan shot back. "Second, the baby you're claiming to love is a 'mutie freak' as you so openmindedly put it. And you could have been the dad just as easily as everyone here. So can it."

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly raised a fist in suppoert of Ryan, "Yeah! So can it!"

He smiled as he thought he was doing right in backing up his friend.

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan closed his eyes tightly and counted to ten, but didn't correct Kelly.

[Narrator]

Joey let out a yell of pure animal rage and picked up his chair, tossing it at Ryan and Kelly. Security grabbed and pinned him, but curiously not before he tossed the chair.

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly quickly dove towards the crowd to avoid the chair being thrown at him. He was waiting for this to happen. He smiled widley as he flew out of the way, "I love this part of the show!"

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan, on the other hand, raised an arm to try to bat off the chair, succeeding in only sort of getting knocked in the head by it. "Hey, take a seat!" he snapped back at the idiot. "You saw what happens when you try getting physical!"

[Narrator]

Joey charged at Ryan, still enraged. Security managed to stop him before he got to Ryan, and Caitlin grabbed onto his arm.

"Joey, stop it." she pleaded "Just sit down, we'll get this all sorted out."

"Shut up. I'm sick and tired of your lying."

"Ok, everyone that is enough." Jerry said loudly "Now, before I read the results, I want to ask all of you an important question. If you are the father, will you be a part of this little boy's life?" A picture of Zayden appeared on the screen. He was playing on the floor of a separate room. He was a cute, apple cheeked little boy with a shock of white blond hair, just over a year old, and with the wings he looked like a little cherub.

"Of course I will." Joey said "I like the little guy." he glared at Caitlin "If you weren't a lying whore...."

"That is enough." Jerry cut him off. "And the rest of you?"

"If I'm the father, sure thing." Marco said, laughing derisively at the idea.

"Sure." Raven said sullenly.

"Of course Mr. Worthington would be responsible, if the child were his." James replied.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Watch your mouth," Ryan shot derisively at Joey. "And yes, of course I would, if I were," he added, answering Jerry's question.

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly who was now sitting in his seat again looked at the child and thought about being a father. A tear appeared on his right eye and dramatically turned slowly to the mother of the cute kid with a twinkle in his eye, "I would be honored to raise any child. I have the resources and the heart to give this child a good life."

[Narrator]

"Ok." Jerry said, "Now that is settled, we are going to find out which one of you is going to be taking responsibility for this baby. To help us explain things, we have Dr. Samira Ansari."

"Dr. Ansari." he said, smiling at the woman who walked onto the stage, welcome to the show.

"Thank you, its a pleasure to be here."

"Before we have you give the results of the test, I want to make sure that everyone is clear that a paternity test even when one of the parents is a mutant, correct?"

"That is completely correct. The only genetic differences are in the area called the 'X-gene', so there isn't any problem in comparing DNA."

"Thank you. Now was your test able to determine which one of these men is the father."

"It was" Samira replied.

"And may I have the envelopes?" Jerry asked, as the crowd gasped in anticipation.

"Of course." Samira said, handing him a stack of sealed envelopes.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Last chance," Ryan whispered to Raven, "I'll give you fifty bucks that it's Captain Douchebag down there."

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly nervously bite his talons and accidently poked his inside of his mouth and started to slightly bleed out of his mouth.

[Narrator]

Jerry opened the first envelope "In the matter of the paternity of Zayden...Marco, you are NOT the father."

"I'm so, so not surprised." Marco said laughing a little.

[Ryan Gabriel]

Ryan glanced down at Marco and smirked, but waited for the rest of the results.

[Narrator]

Jerry paused for the laughter to subside, and then continued, opening the second envelope.

"In the matter of the paternity of Zayden, Warren Worthington is not the father."

There was a round of applause from the audience, and when it stopped, Jerry continued, opening the third envelope.

"Raven, you are also not the father of Zayden."

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly got even more nervous with the options narrowing down like the blood from his mouth. It trickled down the side of his mouth. He removed his hand after the second poke, "Ouch."

[Narrator]

Jerry opened the fourth envelope "Kelly, in the matter of the paternity of Zayden. You are" he paused dramatically "NOT the father."

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly jumped up with gusto, "Woohoo!"

And then he caught a glimps of that pretty child and felt bad. Small sprinkles of blood splattered as he talked, "What a shame really. That kid is really cute."

[Narrator]

"Why don't you adopt him!" someone shouted from the audience.

When the laughter faded, Jerry continued "In one of these envelopes, is the truth about Zayden's paternity. I'll start with you, Ryan." he opened the envelope "Ryan, in the matter of the paternity of Zayden....Ryan you are." the pause was even more dramatic, and even longer "NOT THE FATHER!"

The audience gasped, on the edge of their seats....

Caitlin smiled in triumph, and Joey looked stunned, "But that means...." he said, sounding stunned.

[Ryan Gabriel]

"That five guys who never had sex with your girlfriend aren't the baby's daddy? Wow, who would have thought of that," Ryan smirked, glancing down at Joey.

[Narrator]

Jerry paused dramatically "Joey, in the matter of the paternity of Zayden....You" the pause was even longer and more dramatic "You ARE the father."

"I told you so!" Caitlin said to Joey.

"I'm sorry baby....I'm sorry..." Joey said, kneeling down at Caitlin's feet, and pulling a ring out of his pocket "I love you. Marry me, forgive me. Let us be a family...please."

[Narrator]

"How is this possibly, genetically?" Jerry asked Dr. Ansari, as the crowd 'aaawwwed' as Caitlin, inevitably, said "Yes".

"Oh, that part is quite simple." Dr. Ansari replied "Non-mutant parents produce mutant children all the time."

"And that is the most important thing to remember." Jerry Rivera replied "Underneath it all, we're all the same."

The theme music played and the show wrapped.

((but feel free to post the 'after the show, if you like))

[Kelly St Luc]

Kelly looked amused by the somewhat romantic gesture. Although wondered if she would have been as happy if it was a toe wedding ring. For the moment Kelly just sat back in his chair and wiped the sweat off his face and blood from his mouth.

"Wow, I don't think I want to be on this type of show ever again..."

[Ryan Gabriel]

"Amen, buddy. I don't know about all of you, but I could go for a drink right now. You all in?" Ryan said, glancing at the Winged Brigade.

[Byrna Cooper]

Ryan would find, upon returning to the green room, that one of the interns had left a phone message for him.

I'm glad it all worked out for everyone, even the rainbow guy and the dark, thin one. Now go buy Kelly a drink, and enjoy your little trip back to the City.

Around that time, there would also be a picture message on Ryan's phone.

And just remember what you have waiting back in London!

The pic would be a closeup of Bear, looking happy and sunshine-y. The second pic would be a pull back, showing Bear wearing a flowery bikini, blowing him a kiss.