I9DT - An Offer you can't refuse!

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:43 pm

"So," the director said as Will sat down across from him, "we've been seeing some great work out of you. You ever thought of doing infomercials?"

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:53 pm

"What sort of infomercials?"

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:54 pm

"We've got a cleaning product we want to pitch. You're okay if this is a little messy, right?"

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:57 pm

Oh god

"Um....what sort of mess?"

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:08 pm

"Just household messes. We really want to show the viewers how useful our product is around the flat."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:08 pm

"Right, OK...so, what's your wonder product?"

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:11 pm

"It's kind of like a lint roller on steroids. Everyone's going to want one."

"Here's the problem, though. Our pitchman is kind of a perfectionist, and the product has been leaving a few stray bits as we do the takes."

"So I suppose the question is... how good are you with materials?"

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:16 pm

"...So, I'm not the pitchman here, am I..."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:18 pm

"No, sorry. We've already got him lined up. You've probably seen his ads for the Mega-Chamois and the Kick-Chop."

"Great stuff, really. 'You're gonna want me to kick your nuts!' and all that."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:25 pm

"Oh! Yes, I've...seen his work"

Note to self-ear plugs

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:33 pm

"Right. So, what we need from you for this is you've got to be sticky, but not leave a trail or anything. The real product is silicone."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:38 pm

"Isn't this false advertising?"

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:41 pm

"Oh come on, now. What product performs as well as it does in the ad? Half the ads for food don't even use real food, you know. Doesn't work well under the lights."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:46 pm

Note to self-avoid food ads

"Oh, well, this is all more above board then my last ad....let's...let's do this. What do I have to do?"

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:51 pm

"We'd done a few takes with the actual product, and it just became obvious we were going to be spending too many hours trying to get those shots right. There was always a speck or two, you know?"

"So we were hoping if you got the material down, we'd get this in just a few takes. Mostly he's just going to be running you across furniture, a few times across the floor, and we've got a shot or two where you've got to get dirt off a person."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:38 pm

"...

Fantastic let's get started."

Sigh

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:46 pm

"Excellent!"

He grinned, and handed Will a hand-held plastic roller, minus its key component.

"I'll give you a few to get acquainted."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:50 pm

"Very funny," Will said, shooting him a look.

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:52 pm

"What? I rather thought you'd want a short bit to make sure you've got the material down."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:02 pm

"Yes, of course. I'll be ready in a couple minutes..."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:03 pm

"Wonderful. I'll get our pitchman in here."

Grinning like a madman, he scurried off.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:10 pm

Will sighed. "I'm gonna hate every second of this."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:15 pm

It was a few minutes later that he heard the voices approaching.

"Look, all I'm saying is that when I throw that thing at the wall, it's gotta stick! When it fell off the last take, I just looked like a schmuck!"

"Don't worry, Vinnie. We've got it all taken care of."

"It better be! This works out, we're gonna sell a lot of these, you and me."

The director came back in, his... excitable... pitchman in tow.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:31 pm

Will sighed.

"Pleasure to meet you."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:32 pm

Vinnie gave him an odd look.

"...who's this guy?"

"Vinnie, this young man is going to be standing in for our product."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:42 pm

"A pleasure, like I said."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:45 pm

"...huh. This one'a those superhero types? You got Doctor Strange playin' my mop?"

"Something like that, Vinnie. He does good work."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:52 pm

"We'll get this ad out in no time."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:50 pm

"I gotta say, Frank, this is gonna be weird wavin' some guy around."

"Just give it a chance, Vinnie. You won't even notice he's there."

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:55 pm

"Believe me, it's weird for me, too--but if you're passionate about the product, this is....I mean, this is one way to do it."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:13 pm

"Well alright, kid. Let's do this."

==================

A short bit later, the commercial had started filming.

"You can clean your home in a flash, when you use the Dash! Look how it takes pet hair right out of your sofa!"

One hoped Will was ready, as he was dredged vigorously across the shed cat hair.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:14 pm

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

Points where points are due, though, it WAS working.

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:20 pm

"Spilled cereal!"

Roll, roll, roll...

"Even use it on your husband!"

Will was applied liberally to a sweaty, apparently napping man.

"And get this! The Dash is slippery when wet..."

Will was rinsed under the faucet, then dried off on a towel.

"...but sticky when dry! Check this out!"

Will was flung with some vehemence at the frame of the set's kitchen window.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:23 pm

"Ugh!" Will said, aloud, at the impact.

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:29 pm

"CUT!" The director yelled.

"What just happened here? Did you... did you just say 'Ugh' while we're filming?" Vinnie asked.

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:31 pm

"Sorry, sorry...knocked the, uh, wind out of me..."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:32 pm

"What, my danged lint brush has lungs?"

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:34 pm

"Not exactly! Actually, there's this interesting article coming out..."

by **Narrator** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:39 pm

"Look, kid, I just wanna be able to show the viewers that once the product is dry, it'll stick to the wall. I mean, I don't wanna hurt you or nothing, but it's gotta look good, right?"

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:44 pm

"Sorry, I was just...unprepared."

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