Issue 1 Downtime

The ad-agency had called Will in for another appointment though apparently the director had something to clear with him first because when he shows up at the studio Will is directed to his office first.

Will walked up, and knocked.

"Will Stanton, here for the appointment?"

"Ah yes, the mutie, come on in."

I gotta get a better agent

"Yes, sir."

"Great. Sit down." he says. "I heard you did that toothpaste bit the other week, yes?"

"Yes. Yes I did." Fantastic--that's not exactly the best kind of typecasting out there.

"Grrreat. So when you can do toothpaste, how... realistic is that?"

"I don't suppose you've spoken to the actress from the commercial? I'm told it's fairly realistic."

"Good, good. There's no health concerns either I take it?"

"Not that I know of."

"Excellent. Just wanted to clear that first. Safety of our actors and all that." he says, pushing himself out of his chair.

Will nods.

"Right, I don't think anyone could get hurt..."

"Just what I wanted to hear. Let's get down to the set then, shall we?"

"Uh, sure....I'm sorry, I have a lot of offers lined up--what's the premise for this one?" Will said, following.

"Oh they didn't tell you yet? Body-spray. Turns you irresistible to women. And, as we all know, what's more irresistible to broads than chocolate, right?"

"Ah, yes. Of course."

"So what we do is have you in a bathroom, just out the shower, looking like some regular schmuck. You use the spray and bam! Suddenly you're made from chocolate. Then we do a couple scenes of chicks digging your new chocolaty goodness so we can splice together a couple different spots."

"Um, ok...when you say digging..."

"We got a couple ideas. We'll see what works out."

"Right...OK, then!"

Better than the last job. Yuck. If I never spend time in someone's mouth again, it'll be too soon

And with that they're off to the stage, part of which actually looks somewhat familiar to the last one in that it's a bathroom. After some arguing about just how exactly a 'regular schmuck' looks like they're ready to do the first scene.

"Okay, just step up to the mirror like you just came from the shower, spray yourself with the stuff and do you thing. Try to... look downtrodden when you step up to the mirror. Your role here is you're just some loser who's life is about to be changed for the awesome. Got it?"

"You want the change slow, or fast?"

"How slow is slow? Make it a couple seconds. Two or three."

Will stepped out of the shower area, with a bit of a hang-dog expression on his face as he came up to the mirror. Forlornly, he looked down at the can of body-spray.

He shook it once, then twice, and aimed it at himself, and hit the button, allowing his flesh to turn a dark, milky brown wherever the spray hit.

"Hrm."


"Hrmm."


"Let's do that again. And go a little darker will you. Maybe not contemplate the can so much, you're eating up valuable time."

"Sure thing, boss."

Will went again, this time ignoring the can entirely--just grabbing it and spraying again, as he went with a more dark-chocolate finish spreading out over his skin.

"No no no. Don't ignore it entirely! We don't want to tell our customers that it doesn't matter! Try... curiously optimistic without hogging air-time."

"...


Gotcha, curiously optimistic. I can do that."

This time, Will cocked his head to the side when he came across the can, and, giving it a shake, hit himself full blast in the face, letting the change trickle down from there.

"Cut! What was that? Who sprays themselves in the face with body-spray! And I said curiously optimistic, not confused puppy!"

"That wasn't optimistic?

Alright, I'll give it another go."


THIS time, Will glanced down, saw the can, cocked his head, pursed his lips, and gave himself a couple quick spritzes.

"Will you stop cocking your head? Good god. And the liberally spraying it on was fine. Just go 'Ooh, I wonder if this will make me less of a loser' in your head when you look at it."

I'll tell you where I'd like to stick this can...

"No problem!"

Will this time kept his head level, glancing down to see it, nodding his head, and spraying it on. Liberally.

"There we go! Finally! Now lets get another two or three takes of that and move on."

Will repeated nearly the same exact steps, altering only in where he sprayed, for different spreading effects--so the director would have a choice, you see.

"Alright. Everyone take a five minute break while we get the other extras."

Will turned back to flesh.

"I'm, uh, a little concerned about the heat of the lights..."

"And how exactly are we going to light the stage?"

"I'm just letting you aware of a potential problem, that's all, sir. I don't know if the commercial works if the lead melts halfway through."

"You'll just have to figure out a way to keep yourself fresh. No one likes runny chocolate."

"I'll see what I can do..."