I12: This Goes Faster On TV

[John Hino]

John sat reading a book as his powerful computer scanned various databases for the faces of their current mysterious foes. He had his fingers crossed that he found something, but was beginning to lose patience. John didn't normally do impatient, but he wasn't normally a speedster either.

[Narrator]

Eventually, the thing binged. Do facial recognition programs bing? I say they do.

[John Hino]

John put down his book and zipped over to the screen.

[Narrator]

The face that popped up as a match... wasn't exactly the same face as he was looking at.

It was...Matt Damon?

[John Hino]

"... damnit..." he grumbled before telling the program it was a bad match.

"Dad needs better programmers."

[Narrator]

It scrolled through again, this time popping up as...Alan Cumming?

[John Hino]

"Oh what the hell," he grumbled.

[Narrator]

Now...Jake Gyllenhaal? Stupid facial recognition program, those people don't even look REMOTELY similar.

[John Hino]

"... no program is this terrible, not from Dad's people..." he frowned.

[Narrator]

Not unless it had somehow been tampered with, that's for sure.

[John Hino]

Barring one of Mr. Hino's software people being in league with the magical villains in a patently absurd level of foresight, John was left with one conclusion.

"I fucking hate magic."