Star Trek: The Nerdification of Barrin

by **Nailah Weaver** » Tue Aug 20, 2013 2:49 am

Every once in a while Star Trek pretends it's about submarine warfare.

Red Shirt Count: 348 (+3 exploding console casualties)
Actual Death Count: 25
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 123
Cameo Count: 36
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Natalya Romanov** » Tue Aug 20, 2013 7:58 am

Nailah Weaver wrote:+3 exploding console casualties

I swear, it's like:
<Ship Designer> "I've got a great idea! When a ship system takes damage, we'll have the associated console spark and explode. That way they'll know there's something wrong with it!"

Either that or in the rush of creating new technology, they've forgotten the lowly circuit breaker.

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:20 am

SPACE JESUS VERSUS BLACK JESUS!

DS9 4x17: Accession, or DIE ÜBERNAHME

Kira's a GREAT artist.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:25 am

Sisko, 100% more The Sisko than anyone else. Accept no substitutes.

Also: God damnit Bajor. Are you really that stupid?

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 2:47 am

Yay! MORE Keiko O'Brien!

DS9 5x05: The Assignment, or DIE ERPRESSUNG

You know, Keiko, you seem nicer than usual.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Aug 24, 2013 2:50 am

Is it bad that I'm starting to call the solution to these things before they happen?

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:12 am

It's just a jump to the left!

DS9 5x08: Things Past, or DIE SCHULD

O No Odo.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:17 am

And then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight.

Poor Odo.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:01 am

And our journey through the happy-go-lucky world of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine continues!

DS9 5x11: The Darkness and the Light, or DUNKELHEIT UND LICHT

Silence of the Lambs + And Then There Were None =...

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:02 am

The lesson to be learned here is... don't fuck with Kira.

by **Will Stanton** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:50 am

And now, KLINGON WEDDING!

DS9 6x07: You are Cordially Invited, or KLINGONISCHE TRADITION

So sue me, I actually like the Klingon ceremony.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:00 am

How Klingon civilization managed to get to the point where they're flying spaceships is a mystery.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:00 am

And now, THE MOST TERRIFYING ALIEN RACE IN STAR TREK HISTORY

DS9 6x10: The Magnificent Ferengi, or DER GLORREICHE FERENGI

*Thump.....Thump.....Thump....Thump.....Thump*

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:06 am

How ~~Klingon~~ Ferengi civilization managed to get to the point where they're flying spaceships is a mystery.

by **Will Stanton** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:54 am

"I've got a delivery of edible scenery for a Gul Dukat? Do we have a Gul Dukat?"

DS9 6x11: Waltz, or DAS GUTE UND DAS BÖSE

ARGLE BARGLE FARGLE Space hitler.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 3:08 am

Shoulda gone with that instinct from the opening voice-over and brained him a couple more times with that pipe, Sisko.

by **Natalya Romanov** » Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:46 am

Nailah Weaver wrote:How ~~Klingon~~ Ferengi civilization managed to get to the point where they're flying spaceships is a mystery.

Free market! Or something...

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 1:54 am

Happy, cheerful DS9. The most fun-loving series there is!

DS9 6x25: The Sound of Her Voice, or DER KLANG IHRER STIMME

SHE WAS DEAD THE WHOOOOOLE TIME

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 1:57 am

Talking to a dead person through timey-wimey means. How sill--oh wait.

Red Shirt Count: 348
Actual Death Count: 26 (+1)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 123
Cameo Count: 36
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:45 am

I never really enjoyed the DS9 Klingon episodes. They were all just variations on the same theme.

DS9 7x07: Once More Unto the Breach, or DER DAHAR-MEISTER

Kinda sad that this was literally that guy's last performance

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:47 am

Klingon Alzheimer. It's a good day to go for a walk and take a nap.

Red Shirt Count: 348
Actual Death Count: 27 (+1)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 123
Cameo Count: 37 (+1)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:20 am

Nothing says "Starfleet values" like racial profiling!

DS9 7x13: Field of Fire, or FREIES SCHUßFELD

Um....how the hell does that Trill shit work?

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:26 am

Ezri, stop Hanniballing yourself

Red Shirt Count: 351 (+3)
Actual Death Count: 27
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 123
Cameo Count: 37
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:02 am

You're a very funny man, Senior Frankie Eyes!

DS9 7x15: Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang, or BADDA-BING BADDA-BANG

The best is yet to come...or already came. One of those.

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:06 am

We did James Bond, now it's Ocean's Eleven time. Or nine, I suppose.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:54 am

And now, OUR FAVORITE SERIES EVER!

ENT 4x07: The Forge, or DER ANSCHLAG

Come visit sunny Vulcan!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:58 am

Tonight on CSI: Vulcan - Archer goes sneaking around wearing a NX-01 baseball cap, gets treed by a cat.

Finally back to all these memorable characters. Spock of Nine, Captain Clueless, Alien Doctor and Black Guy!

Red Shirt Count: 351
Actual Death Count: 28 (+1 Noo, Admiral that guy!)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 123
Cameo Count: 37
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:45 am

Enterprise continues to explain the origins of EVERYTHING.

ENT 4x08: Awakening, or ZEIT DES ERWACHENS

Vulcans, comb the desert!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:45 am

Tuvok ain't found shit!

by **Will Stanton** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:06 am

And now we know...the REST of the backstory.

ENT 4x09: Kir'Shara, or KIR'SHARA

"How do you feel now that the Katra is gone, Archer?" "Dumber."

by **Nailah Weaver** » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:12 am

~♫♪~ Kir'shara, shara. Whatever will be, will be. ~♪♫~

by **Will Stanton** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:39 am

And now, the best episodes Enterprise has to offer. No joke.

ENT 4x18: In a Mirror, Darkly, or DIE DUNKLE SEITE DES SPIEGELS, TEIL I

They're EEEEVIL

by **Nailah Weaver** » Fri Sep 13, 2013 2:53 am

In the evil universe everyone talks super intense all the time.

Red Shirt Count: 354 (+3 Red Shirts)
Actual Death Count: 28 (+1 Noo, Admiral that guy! Again!)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 124 (Shirtless Archer) (Bonus 2 bare midriffs)
Cameo Count: 37
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:50 am

And to finish!

ENT 4x19: In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II, or DIE DUNKLE SEITE DES SPIELGLS, TEIL II

Last one standing gets to be emperor!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 12:53 am

Everyone but Sato got out-backstabbed.

Red Shirt Count: 369 (+15 Red Shirts)
Actual Death Count: 30 (+1 Noo, ~~Commander~~ ~~Captain~~ Emperor Archer!)
Ripped Shirt/Bare Chest Count: 125 (Shirtless Archer)
Cameo Count: 38 (+1 Freaking Gorn)
Shut Up Wesley Count: 20

Bonus Voyager Tracker
Shuttles: -4
Torpedoes: -1
People: 138
Janeway'd: 2

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:45 am

Back to the best series, shut up Barrin.

TNG 1x10: Hide and Q or RIKERS VERSUCHUNG

Those aren't muskets!

by **Nailah Weaver** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:53 am

He didn't have the beard yet, so Riquer wasn't ready for ultimate power.

by **Will Stanton** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:38 am

Season 1 TNG differs from other crappy shows because you SEE the good ideas there, and then they just sad trombone.

TNG 1x15: 11001001, or 11001001

ASHLIE, did you hijack the Enterprise-D again?

by **ASHLIE** » Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:40 am

I like the Binars. They seem like good people.

by **Will Stanton** » Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:28 am

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

TNG 1x20: Heart of Glory, or WORF'S BRÜDER

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Who is online